Things that I Miss

Warning: this post might sound whiny and shallow.

I miss bookstores. The big, awful chain ones, like Barnes and Nobles. I miss the smell when you walk in of fresh pages and ink and uncracked book spines. I miss the colorful displays of new fiction novels, the aisle of "NY Times Bestsellers," the blue carpet, the fluorescent lighting, the central heating, the cliche' Starbucks coffee shop in the corner with overpriced lattes and people typing on laptops.

I miss my car; having access to transportation any time of day, any day of the week. I miss the independence of it, the freedom of not depending upon any other person, or bus schedule, or weather (walking is my number one way of getting around here, so when it rains, it changes my entire day's plans).

I miss having a mailbox just outside my door, and an address where things can be delivered to - an address that doesn't cause taxi drivers to raise their eyebrows in dismay, an address that Pizza Hut recognizes and that the pet store will agree to deliver my 33lb bag of dog food to (again, walking as primary mode of transport). I miss the convenience of Amazon online two-day delivery, of having access to almost any product I can think of.

I miss my pots and pans and kitchen appliances. I've been living on my own/with room mates for the last 5 years, and so have accumulated a full kitchen's worth of cookware, which is now boxed up in a storage unit back home. I used to cook 90% of my meals, and would spend the weekend preparing and cooking for the week ahead. I now feel like I'm back in undergrad, living with one pot and one skillet, resorting to pasta and scrambled eggs as daily food staples.

I miss my electric blanket - how I could turn it on 10 minutes before bed and then climb into pre-warmed sheets. I now sleep with a hot water bottle every night instead to try and thaw out the covers.

I miss Valentines Day candy that would normally be all over the grocery stores by now in obnoxious pink and red. No Russel Stovers or heart-shaped candies here though - it isn't a holiday celebrated in Israel.

I miss Mardi Gras decorations and weekend parades and Shrove Tuesday pancake suppers. I miss king cake and Lenten bible studies and helping prepare for Ash Wednesday services.

I miss clothes dryers and dish washers and full-sized ovens with temperatures written in Fahrenheit. I miss 1/2 cup and 1/3 cup and whole cup measuring cups, and not having to convert things from mL and grams.

I miss the U.S., and all the random little things that made life convenient and easy and comfortable there.

As the warning said, this post is most definitely whiny, and also paints me as awfully shallow and high-maintenance. But I guess we all get to complain sometimes.

On the other hand:

I went with a friend to a beautiful Shabbat service Friday night, and was excited to be able to read the Hebrew in the prayer book well enough to sing along.

I took Ellie to the dog park today and she made friends with a couple of other high-energy puppies. The playing wore her out, and so she's been sleeping next to me on the couch for the last several hours.

I helped lead the communion service at the Church of Scotland this morning in Jerusalem to a congregation of locals and internationals from Britain, Scotland, Ireland, and the U.S.

I have made wonderful friends here, one of which I got to experience snow with the other day in Bethlehem. (At one point you will hear her say, "nobody loves us!" This was because we were attempting to hitch hike since our bus never came. Eventually a nice Jewish woman living in the next door settlement stopped and gave us a ride).

So, really. I can't complain. Or, well, I can. But I shouldn't.

The Great Escape: Christmas, London, and the Joy of Leaving Jerusalem

This was my first Christmas away from home. Back around Thanksgiving I began feeling sad about being far from friends and family, wondering how I would manage to make it through the holiday season while living in a place that doesn't even recognize it as one. And then I mentioned this to a friend I met through west coast swing dancing in Tel Aviv, and he took it upon himself to throw a Christmas party for me so that I wouldn't feel alone.

To fully grasp the enormity of this undertaking, you must first understand that this friend had never celebrated Christmas before. That, in fact, most of the people coming to this party would have never celebrated Christmas before. Everyone there was raised Jewish, and so were completely unfamiliar with the traditions celebrated or the decorations used. Some of the questions I was asked as plans were being made for the party:

-What are stockings used for? Are they different than presents?
-Does Christmas start the night before? (Jewish holidays all start the evening before - it was a really strange concept for people to grasp that Christmas Eve was a separate thing altogether, with its own set of traditions and customs).
-When can you say "Merry Christmas" and have it be ok?
-What is a nativity scene?

Even with a lack of knowledge about the holiday, they were all willing to come together to create a Tel-Avivian-Israeli-Christmas for me - it was amazing.

One example of how things can get mixed in translation...this was the welcome sign on the apartment door where the party was held. It's supposed to read "Ho, ho, ho!" I about died when I saw it. It encapsulates perfectly the amount of effort put into making this a real Christmas party, and also the hilarity and irony behind it being thrown by someone who has never celebrated Christmas!

 Let me explain that even the obtaining of Christmas decorations is next to impossible here. Of course, in Bethlehem and other Palestinian Christian areas, they are easy to be found; but in Israel proper? No way. If you want to find Christmas things in Israel, you really have to look hard. All throughout the month of December I felt like I was in some land where seasons didn't properly exist, since there were no visible reminders of the approaching holiday. And so, you can imagine my surprise when I walked into his apartment and saw the many decorations around the place! I later found out that most were brought in from Canada and England weeks before - he'd arranged for friends who were visiting to bring in Christmas supplies from abroad!

The tree after we decorated it, with lights hung across the room, stockings on the door, and Christmas book and candy under the tree!

 

 

There was an actual Christmas tree in his living room! Decorated with lights and garland. The ornaments were not yet put on when I arrived - that would be an activity we would do once all the people were there, "because that's supposed to be fun or something, right?" (Actual quote from his roommate when explaining why the tree was only partially decorated).

There were ornaments strung up on the wall, lights across the doorway, and stockings filled with candy (and candy canes, even!). A 3 hour long playlist of Christmas carols had been prepared before hand, and was turned on the moment I, and my friend Hannah, walked in.

Hannah is a friend I made in Jerusalem. She's from the U.S., but recently immigrated here so is now a dual citizen of America/Israel. Her father is Christian and mother Jewish, so she also found herself missing some of the Christmas traditions from back home. We showed up to the party early to bake Christmas cookies, prepare apple cider, and make eggnog before the guests arrived. No one had experienced eggnog before, so we were happy to expose them to it. Both of us were made speechless by the amount of Christmas contained inside this one apartment, after having been so starved for it in Jerusalem in the weeks prior.

Hannah and myself, helping decorate the tree! And yes, it was fun!

Ellie joined us for the festivities, but the celebration was a bit too much for her!

Guy, who hosted the party (pictured on the left), managed to also acquire a Reindeer Christmas sweater for himself and several Santa hats. Also a Christmas light necklace for me. It was also required dress code for everyone who came to wear either red or green.

It really was a great time, especially because the main tradition of Christmas that I find important is being with people you care about. Since it couldn't be family this year, it was really nice to be around a group of friends and a community that has taken me under their wing and welcomed me in. Though I still missed being home for the holidays, I was certainly not alone - and it will for sure be a Christmas I never forget!

Shortly after Christmas day, I headed to the airport for a trip to London, where I spent five days at a dance event there. It was my first time in London (first time in Europe, actually), and I was excited to have a completely new place to explore on my own. Being there really let me see how much I've grown in my 6 months here; I navigated public transportation like a pro, explored London all on my own, and even dealt with having my suitcase lost for my first 30+ hours there with only the tiniest smidgen of stress and frustration. I really do think that after this year living in Israel/Palestine, I will be able to handle anything.

Mandatory touristy photo of me by a red phone booth. It was so great having everything in English again!

I had a wonderful time while there, meeting people from all over the world, dancing five nights in a row, visiting grocery stores and relishing in the fact that I could suddenly read all of the labels. Both my time there and my time in Tel Aviv allowed me an escape from the realities of Jerusalem/Bethlehem living. I got to feel like a normal person again - a person who doesn't constantly think about occupation and oppression and how to live a life that recognizes the humanity of the people on both sides of the wall. I got to recharge and blend in and just be for a little bit, which was very much needed.

But I also recognize that, even this ability to forget, this ability to shove things down into a box for a little while and simply not think about the conflict, is itself a mark of my privilege. So many people living in Bethlehem can't just escape to Tel Aviv for a weekend. They aren't allowed to fly out of Ben Gurion airport for a trip to London. And, more importantly, they won't be able to move back to the U.S. in a handful of months, to begin a career where I could essentially just forget all that I've seen and experienced while living here.

The break from Jerusalem and life here was a really, really good thing. But I worry that sometimes it is too easy to forget. I'm never one to just choose the easy path, but after so many days away, I could see the temptation of walking down that road. I hope that I'm strong enough to resist that when I'm back in the states and no longer here. I hope I don't forget.

Sunset at the beach in Tel Aviv, a few days after Christmas.